tractum ex culo | szaleniec1000

In This World and the Next Chapter 13

szaleniec1000 Jan 25, 2015 12:58

It took a while, but it's finally here. Here we learn exactly why Lord Potter (and by extension the author) thinks that Ron needs to be killed for something his future self did in another timeline. And it's as bad as you think it is.
( ITWATN Chapter 13 )

epic fail, google is your friend, i still ship percy/penelope, percy is evil, conflict be damned, hypocrisy, it's contrived excuse time!, informed wrongness, yay stereotyping, ron is evil, my argument is pastede on yay, i can has characterisation, i hate that you have a cock, pov!fail, reading the books is a good idea, the cake is a lie, meticulous planning, fucking self-awareness how does it work, badfic:in this world and the next, priorities be damned, the lowercase wizarding world, tractum ex culo, harry potter, convention of the psychics, idiot balls for everyone, dumbledore is evil, singularity of fail, minerva is ooc, continuity isn't optional, full of eastern promise

Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 7

szaleniec1000 Jul 20, 2014 16:14

Last chapter's obligatory cliffhanger involved the arrival of three "extremely unwelcome visitors", who might have been house-elves, the Great One's geese, the Hogsmeade takeaway delivering the wrong pizza or just post owls again.
( Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 7 )

balance of stupidity, google is your friend, the pansexual '50s, moustache twirling, agony of the stick, om nom nom, expospeak, pov!fail, welsh railway, metaphor fail, literal butthurt, americanisms in the potterverse, rectuuum!, creepiest toddler ever, tractum ex culo, hermione in name only, hooch is evil, gratuitous gore, what were the betas doing, you fail paediatrics forever, convention of the psychics, breast fixation, epic fail, salazar is evil, badfic:hogwarts overexposed, goose of doom, thirty contrivance pileup, i hate that you have a cock, draco trilogy wants him back, read pou instead, sexism, harry potter, idiot balls for everyone, continuity isn't optional, snape is ooc, education system from hell, approved hogwarts exposed dialogue voice

Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 6 part 2

szaleniec1000 Jul 18, 2014 21:10

If you thought their holiday had been eventful enough, you were wrong. This time, randy werewolves. And I'm not talking about Kim's one-time love interest.

( Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 6 )

show don't tell, did not do the bloody research, significant glance, expospeak, pov!fail, welsh railway, are you a witch or not, americanisms in the potterverse, retcon yay, creepiest toddler ever, have i mentioned i hate this fic, tractum ex culo, hermione in name only, totally radical, you fail paediatrics forever, convention of the psychics, breast fixation, wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, separated by a common language, onion slicing convention, badfic:hogwarts overexposed, department of redundancy department, too much information, completely nonsexual, thirty contrivance pileup, anvil of foreshadowing, i can has characterisation, statute schmatute, meticulous planning, oh dear maths, pop goes the house-elf, worst dating advice ever, harry potter, idiot balls for everyone, continuity isn't optional, snape is ooc, literally stupid, education system from hell, approved hogwarts exposed dialogue voice

Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 5

szaleniec1000 Jul 10, 2014 14:12

Last time on Hogwarts Exposed: the worst hazard when trekking naked through a tropical rainforest is running into a cop who's apparently the long-lost relative of the gang from Chapter 2. Or else the gang from The Gang. Also, the Great One is a goose.

( Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 5 )

show don't tell, paedofinder general, ron is ooc, expospeak, the nudist doth protest too much, pov!fail, reading the books is a good idea, welsh railway, harry is an idiot, are you a witch or not, the worst birthday, message from fred, anatomy fail, retcon yay, allcaps of doom, tractum ex culo, hermione in name only, double standard, second order plagiarism, breast fixation, get on t'internet, anticlimax, epic fail, hollywood law, badfic:hogwarts overexposed, goose of doom, completely nonsexual, thirty contrivance pileup, anvil of foreshadowing, i can has characterisation, sexism, nudity for everyone, harry potter, golden water, said bookism, idiot balls for everyone, harry the pervert, continuity isn't optional, approved hogwarts exposed dialogue voice, i blame the parents

Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 4

szaleniec1000 Jul 06, 2014 22:25

The previous chapter ended with an outburst of disembodied dialogue claiming that something or someone unknown was attacking "those girls", who could have been the main cast but could just as easily have been random bystanders. Now for the "resolution". Yes, it's bad.

( Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 4 )

show don't tell, missed the point of voldemort, honourable member, did not do the bloody research, om nom nom, ron is ooc, symbolic flight, draco is ooc, the nudist doth protest too much, pov!fail, the cake is a lie, welsh railway, are you a witch or not, creepiest toddler ever, tractum ex culo, hermione in name only, breast fixation, anticlimax, soapbox, separated by a common language, bad sex, a description would be nice, badfic:hogwarts overexposed, department of redundancy department, conflict be damned, goose of doom, completely nonsexual, thirty contrivance pileup, i can has characterisation, statute schmatute, sexism, disembodied dialogue, harry potter, dialogue is not narration, approved hogwarts exposed dialogue voice, i blame the parents

Hogwarts Overexposed Chapter 2

szaleniec1000 Jun 28, 2014 21:47

Last time, our friends Portkeyed to Florida (can you even Portkey that far?) to board the nudist cruise. As you do. Their landing zone turned out to be, by the kind of contrived coincidence nobody does better than Hogwarts Exposed, the headquarters of a gang known as the "Chasers".

( This chapter contains attempted rape and its horribly mishandled aftermath. )

show don't tell, agony of the stick, ron is ooc, the nudist doth protest too much, pov!fail, welsh railway, hogwarts school of oratory, hogwarts roboticised, americanisms in the potterverse, retcon yay, creepiest toddler ever, have i mentioned i hate this fic, tractum ex culo, delicious appendage, hermione in name only, convention of the psychics, viagra, robot unicorn attack, breast fixation, le gros tas de merde, epic fail, quidditch needs more love, a description would be nice, badfic:hogwarts overexposed, department of redundancy department, too much information, completely nonsexual, anvil of foreshadowing, statute schmatute, meticulous planning, mione my arse, nudity for everyone, harry potter, dialogue is not narration, you have to know you're not good enough, continuity isn't optional, singularity of fail, literally stupid, approved hogwarts exposed dialogue voice

In This World and the Next Chapter 10

szaleniec1000 May 14, 2014 21:12

In this chapter, Lord Potter plays matchmaker and organises a trip to an amusement park. Voldemort? Who's he?

( In This World and the Next Chapter 10 )

percy is evil, informed wrongness, ron is evil, pov!fail, harry is an idiot, badfic:in this world and the next, priorities be damned, the lowercase wizarding world, mary sue and gary stu, tractum ex culo, hermione in name only, credit where it's due, ineffectual villainy, minerva is ooc, wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff, anticlimax, epic fail, hollywood law, i still ship percy/penelope, everyone is evil, department of redundancy department, conflict be damned, thirty contrivance pileup, anvil of foreshadowing, i can has characterisation, sexism, villain decay, harry potter, dialogue is not narration, exact eavesdropping, idiot balls for everyone, dumbledore is evil

Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 24

szaleniec1000 Aug 05, 2013 23:45

Those of you who follow me on Tumblr will have seen this infographic:

( Read more... )

balance of stupidity, show don't tell, moustache twirling, om nom nom, welsh railway, priorities be damned, retcon yay, have i mentioned i hate this fic, tractum ex culo, hermione in name only, hooch is evil, what were the betas doing, scraping the comedy barrel, ineffectual villainy, breast fixation, anticlimax, epic fail, quidditch needs more love, wrong word dammit, conflict be damned, hypocrisy, completely nonsexual, draco trilogy wants him back, read pou instead, sexism, oh dear maths, you call that pacing, the sues are breeding, you fail feminism forever, how is babby formed, mione my arse, nudity for everyone, disembodied dialogue, harry potter, sweet relief, badfic:hogwarts too exposed, singularity of fail, continuity isn't optional, snape is ooc, education system from hell

In This World and the Next Chapter 8

szaleniec1000 May 18, 2013 16:21

At taekarado's suggestion, ITWATN!Harry shall henceforth be known as SCBE, because he's a self-centred bellend.

( ITWATN Chapter 8 )

epic fail, percy is evil, plagiarism, quidditch needs more love, everyone is evil, moustache twirling, agony of the stick, informed wrongness, ron is evil, little snakes, i hate that you have a cock, pov!fail, reading the books is a good idea, harry is an idiot, metaphor fail, badfic:in this world and the next, tractum ex culo, hermione in name only, lucius is ooc, what were the betas doing, credit where it's due, harry potter, convention of the psychics, said bookism, dumbledore is evil, snape is ooc, continuity isn't optional, wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff

In This World and the Next Intro and Chapter 1

szaleniec1000 Sep 11, 2012 03:47

We've seen some pretty terrible Rons in the almost two and a half years I've been doing these reviews. Dark Secrets gave us Ron the Death Eater in a very literal sense, who also abused Jaiden because he somehow thought that was the best way to keep her on his side. Betrayed Revenge gave us the previous Ron as a vengeful spirit given life by ( Read more... )

epic fail, show don't tell, nokia brick, everyone is evil, department of redundancy department, expospeak, ron is evil, reading the books is a good idea, harry is an idiot, sexism, badfic:in this world and the next, message from fred, the lowercase wizarding world, mary sue and gary stu, have i mentioned i hate this fic, tractum ex culo, ginny is evil, hermione in name only, credit where it's due, harry potter, convention of the psychics, you have to know you're not good enough, idiot balls for everyone, dumbledore is evil, continuity isn't optional, wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff